You should not expect the men who date you to give you financial support. If he gives you money you must give him something back, sex of course, and that changes the quality of the relationship to some kind of a transaction.
It also complicates things and that’s how you stay for years in an undefined relationship and your life is thrown off course. You see once you let in sex it takes the center stage, the main thing between you.
Worse, you’re no longer a wife material in his sight but a side chick material. Although he may never verbalise it.
That’s how the side chick market operates by the way in case you’re not aware. Sex for money. It’s slightly different from another related trade of one night stands conducted in clubs and in the environs of many universities especially those located in towns.
In this one there are no emotions and no long term attachments and the payment is upfront. Please don’t call it prostitution, that’s insensitive and not politically correct.
You see some of the traders in this market are university students and polished corporate men and they still consider themselves decent human beings.
In the side chick trade the benefits are financial upkeep and bills, sometimes school fees included, and the lady is expected to remain faithful to him. He is purchasing her loyalty during the existence of the relationship.
If you’re searching for a husband the first mandatory qualification is that you be self reliant. Live within your means and balance your money math. Do not ask for assistance from your suitors.
If you need help get it from elsewhere. If he gives you money the dynamics in the relationship change totally. If he’s already giving you money why should he still give you any respect?
You must also never loan him money. If he attempts to borrow disqualify him right there and then.
But you still want to make sure you’re not marrying a stingy man and you need to feel spoilt and pampered, so how to do it? Let the man give you stuff and show generosity on his own volition.
Because he’s the one giving you there will be no duty to reciprocate on your end, at least until you agree to a relationship with him. When you’re both committed to merge your lives, the giving should be a beautiful exchange of gifts and favors between the two of you.
By Benjamin Zulu