I lived as a worried person. My friends would call me a coward. I never had a girlfriend as I thought they would underrate me. I was purely a boy and maybe what had instilled fear in me was the way my parents brought up me with strict conditions of no mingling with the opposite sex for they thought I would have been morally decayed. But when I went to campus things were different since I had all the freedom to associate with each one I came across. There were pretty ladies to date.
What really brought me down was that I was not confident of myself at any given time. I used to talk to ladies when am shaking and sweating. I had no vibe to convince them to love me at any point. This really degraded me. I would use the money to buy them enticing things like clothes electronics and other enticing materials but no one had even one point wanted to have sex with me. Since they knew my problem was a lack of confidence, they only wanted to squander all my money for their worldly pleasures.
Since I could sustain a dry spell I began masturbation. When I came up with a beautiful lady with a nice figure, since I had no confidence talking to them, I would take a picture of her secretly and go to take this on my own at night hours. Per day I would masturbate twice. Pornographic was my favorite content I was addicted to. I looked for pornographic novels and movies which acted as a good source of seduction and pleasure. I did not want to associate with my fellow friends maybe in playing games or going on weekend raves. I just wanted to be alone doing my own thing, masturbation.
I really sexually satisfied myself for I did not see anything wrong for I was not on a dry spell. Each time I went to class and a beautiful lecturer would come looking attractive, I would rush to the toilets and masturbate there. I was really possessed by the act since it was the only way I would give myself pleasure for I was a coward and no lady would tolerate such. I made sure that no one knows what I was doing. I started hating women. I saw after all I would satisfy my sexual needs by myself. One day it was in my hostel room watching pornography and I felt like blowing it up. Keeping in mind masturbation requires much high concentration; I did it almost for an hour. This was the day I will never forget. I fell by the floor and fainted. I was helped by one of my friend who referred me to Mugwenu doctors for the herbalists had once solved the same problem he had. I was assessed by the herbalist and later given some herbal medicine in form of liquid which I was to drink each day. After three days I never had that masturbating urge anymore. I now gained the confidence of tuning ladies. I really thank Mugwenu doctors for helping me out of this menace for it had really ruined my health and at the same time lowered my self-esteem.
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