If you are in the dating scene, you have probably come across a single mum looking for love but has turned out to be a bit harder to impress.
This is because single moms don’t have the same free will as other single women.
They worry about more than just their bodies which have gone through massive shifts after childbirth. And once you pass the body test, they still have to worry about your relationship with their kids.
Therefore, sliding into her heart won’t be as easy as working your way into Jane’s who has been to only a few dates but has never been a mum.
Below are a few tips on how you can impress single moms and eventually get to love them.
If you are in a hurry to win her, you won’t make it far. She’s probably looking for love after spending years with someone who is not there anymore.
Therefore, take it slow. Learn why she’s back in the dating pool and be smooth with her because she’s a fish out of water.
Anything suspicious or unexpected for her will make her recoil.
She needs to see you are not a joker so consistency is key.
A woman with children can’t, nor could she even if she wanted to be. She has a schedule. Daily life is planned out because children need consistency and boundaries, and she needs to maintain her sanity.
Therefore don’t ghost her.
One of the most important actions a man can take when dating or building a relationship with a woman with this cargo ship of obligation is to be respectful of her time and her life.
Call her regularly and plan dates in advance.
When the kids are with their father, spontaneity can reign, but when she’s on duty, honor her. Plan ahead.
Listen to her
She’s probably coming from a lonely, dark place and now wants to talk. She probably wants to just share her feelings and current mindset with someone and all you need to do is give her an ear.
Someone who’s there to listen, contribute to the conversation, and asks the questions I forget to ask, who catches the conversation like the catcher in a game, and throws the ball back to me, “How was your day?” will probably win her over.
Follow her lead when it comes to the kids
Don’t be in a hurry with the kids. Let her show you how you’ll treat them, love them too. Don’t pressure her to let you see them also.
Just remember, if you’ve met her children, it’s the sign of all signs that she sees a future with you and most importantly, she trusts you.
The most important thing to understand is that her kids are the most important thing.
Recognize That It’s Different
Just because you dated a single mum before doesn’t mean she’ll be like her. When dating a single mom, it’s important that you adjust your expectations. In other relationships, you may have been able to gauge a person’s feelings for you by how much time and energy they put into your relationship.
Be Honest and Upfront
Unlike other single women, single moms hate games and hidden agendas. Be frank with her from the start. Tell her why you want a lover.
Do you see yourself co-raising kids? Most single parents want to know what type of commitment you’re looking for from them, and how much you’re willing to commit in return. Whatever the case, it’s best to be honest and communicative as you start dating.
Stay Flexible and understanding
Remember that she runs a lot of things in her life. With kids, plans get canceled last minute and other are made in an instant.
Learn how to understand this.
If a sitter cancels at the last minute or a child gets sick, they may run late or need to cancel. Being a single parent also makes it hard to go on a spontaneous date, since childcare is always a top priority.
Don’t judge her situation or parental choices because it will probably taint the relation.
Being a single mother especially with kids can be tough. The first thing mothers need is support rather than harsh words.